Phone jokes
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
Good day tomorrow, and what day are they still good today? Good time. Love day! A great night time and...
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Women say men are trash.
Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
One day I woke up and went on my phone. Some "pussy" was calling me. I answered it and said, "Hello, pussy?" and a pussy pic showed up.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.