Phone

Phone jokes

Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.

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  • The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

    Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.

    Why did Stephen Hawking die?

    Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.

    Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."

    Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

    Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!

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  • "Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."

    "Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

    Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

    A fake name and a fake phone number.

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