My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin. At least now I can have his phone he left.
Phone Rings; Are your parents home? Orphan; Stop calling here.
When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...
A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:
Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”
what do you say to a fat Asian? you got more chins then a Chinese phone book
Normal Europe : Oh no, I lost my iphone... Amish : Oh no, I lost my potato
Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phones sreens' cracked
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
you mama so stupid when her phone died she bared it lol
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
how many apps did he download ... well he did run out of storage
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies she burries it
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with " i need your weight not your phone number"
Stephen hawkings tried charge his phone and unplugged his life support
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
Why did steaphen hawkings died. Because his son wanted to charge there phone so they unplugged him
My phone was at 10% and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen hawkin
Who did Stephen call when he crsshed.....The geek squad
Q: What has two wings and a halo? A: IAn asian phone call, Wing, Wing, Halo?
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, Don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."
