I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke

I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I’d always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite…

I am a beautiful person

Hi person reading this

Ur mum gay… Sorry wrong person

Me: Knock Knock

Person: Who’s there?

Me: No-one

Person: No-one who?

Me:…

Hi how are you busy busy today and I have to

people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school

Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey

Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

yo mama is so fat she has her own personal gravity

3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1…2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, “well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples”

What’s a depressed person’s favorite drink? A depresso espresso.

Jk

It’s cyanide.

vegetarian: I prefer plants herbivore: I just like food cannibal: I’m a people person

did you hear the one about the deaf person me: no thats because they caint hear so they dont talk

Just to get things straight I’m NOT I REPEAT NOT RACIST but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: your skin is so black and ugly.( for the 5th time ) Me: I’m so happy you love my skin color! Bully: ew no I don’t! Me: then why do you keep talking about it?

I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan . Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper. SO they didn’t want to Post M"loan.

What do u call a person with hole in there shoe a. Christian

Person A:Hey,what’s the next subject? Person B:Let me check. Person B:It’s greenglish!

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot. Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn’t understand. Mother: Do you understand. Leo: No.

Person: Where’s your mom and dad?

Orphan: :(

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