I threw a gay person into a fire. Now we call him LGBBQ.
Personal Jokes
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.
"See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.
The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.
"Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.
“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
Why did Justin Bieber start playing hide and seek with his fans?
Because they keepped.
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
What do you say to a black midget?
Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
