Personal jokes
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
Memes
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)