Personal jokes

What's a gay person's favorite meal?

Meat with white sticky stuff.

Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.

Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).

A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.

If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).

Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."

What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?

Stephen Hawking.

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.

So, a person walked into a shop.

Shop guy: "Hey RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD."

This is REALLY funny.

Please upvote, comment, and like.

Thank you very much.

Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"

Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?

Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.

I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.

What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?

Mashed potatoes.

What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.

JK, dark humor.

What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.

Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?

'Cause they'll eat the bat!

You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.

I’m back and have a joke my friend said!

Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.

Person 2: What was it?

Person 1: He went as himself.