Personal jokes
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
Memes
i would try so hard not to laugh if that person was next to me
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.