Personal jokes
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
Memes
What do you call a person?
A person.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
Person: Guess what?
Other person: What?
Person: Chicken butt!
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't count as 1 person bro, she counts as 40 people.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.