Personal jokes
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.
I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.
Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
What do Nemo and Emily's dad have in common? They both can't be found.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
What do you call a bum person with a brain?
A hillbilly.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
How do you keep a blind person entertained? Give them a piece of sandpaper and tell them it’s a word.