Personal

Personal jokes

Orphan

What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.

Orphan

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."

Comedian

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

Dwarf

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

Road

Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.

Memes

Lamborghini

P = Person (not original "pun")

P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!

(Communications with this person are now blocked)

Angel

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.

The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.

He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.

When he died, the Angel came back for him.

"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.

"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."

Homework

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

Pacman

The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.

German

1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?

2nd Person: Yeah, sure!

1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!

Feather

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

Orphan

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and a homeless person? Nothing, haha.

Orphan

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

Orphan

Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?

Person: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes?

Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?

Orphan: MOTHER!

Person: Let's go home!

Orphan: Uhhhh

*She was never to be seen again*

Train

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"