Personal jokes
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
What do emos use as birth control?
Their personalities!
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)