Personal jokes
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Jeffrey Epstein was a disgusting person, but he could tie a good hangman's knot.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What did the bank say to the person?
Bank you very much.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
What do you call an autistic person who is a dumbass? A dumbism.
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.