Personal jokes

How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?

Take off the wheels!

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

What did God say to the black person?

"Oops, I burned one."😳

Not racist, just funny.

I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.

Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."

What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?

A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).

Person 1: Do you know Imagine Dragons?

Person 2: Yeah.

Person 1: Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!

What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?

Dry Vegetable.

Gwen, don't worry, everyone hates you, by the way! Have anything to say? Then who cares? You can't stop me.

Unknown person is going to give you a hint of who hates you...we were in a club, a meeting...btw this is you!

[Image of Gwen]

Later, Bitch!!!!!!!!

How do you surprise a blind guy?

Say, "Surprise!"

5 Cobra Kai Facts:

1: Johnny = Daniel

2: Miguel > Robby

3: Miyagi Do = Eagle Fang

4: Chozen and Daniel > Kreese and Silver

5: Tory is actually a good person.

What do you call a person whose heart stopped?

Dead.

What do you call a gay person on fire?

LGBBQ

What is the best game for a deaf person?

Charades.

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?

Christianity.

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

When a white person says the n word,

black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."

What do you call a disabled person who gets high?

Baked potato.