Personal jokes
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
that one person in ur class be like
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
Ahhhhhhhhhh, ma bored.
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
Person 1: How smart are you?
Person 2: Really smart.
Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?
Person 2: 1 ghost is left.
Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.