Personal jokes
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scales, it said, "One person at a time, please!"
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.
Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
What’s a Mexican person’s favorite spot?
Cross country. 😉