Personal jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!
Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!
Gwen: He does, you're not listening.
Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!