Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
whats it called when a black person makes a joke? a joke, you racist. jk, dark humour
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
What do you call a flat chested depressed person? A cutting board.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
What's a smart person's favorite candy? Nerds! :D
