How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?
Neither did she.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
We don't read backwards.
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
