Perception

Perception Jokes

Bar

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

Dick

Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.

Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"

Braille

I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.

Poet

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.

What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

Sex

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

Blind

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.

On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.

“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

Down Syndrome

This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.

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  • Suicide

    This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.

    Son

    Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?

    Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.

    Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.

    Blonde

    Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."

    Donald Trump

    How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

    He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

    Midget

    Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?

    Blind woman

    A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.

    Dollar

    If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.