People jokes

No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.

If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.

Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.

Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"

Why can Asian people buy phones?

'Cause they might call the wrong number.

Two Asian people have a black baby.

Something wrong.

When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,

other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."

People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.

1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.

2. We all give each other a hand when needed.

Last but not least, we play Twister.

Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.

What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?

A rainbow.

Vegetarian: I prefer plants.

Herbivore: I just like food.

Cannibal: I'm a people person.

You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.

Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.

Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?

Because every play has a cast.

I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"

Don't drink and park.

Accidents cause people.

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.

People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.