People

People Jokes

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" (Found on the web if you don't like it don't leave a hate comment)

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do? I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through. The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark. Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair. That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect. Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side. Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know. But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

I was sad, so i called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

I was asking people who knew trump if he would win a second term . Stormy said " no way, he doesn't have 2 in him!"

You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

1

I hate it when people are at my house and ask “do you have a bathroom?” What answer Are they expecting “no, we pee in the yard”

0

(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore. 2: I'm dying, finally. 3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/.

A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators, One night he has a party and says,"whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says,"wow I can't believe you did it! So whats your prize?" the guy says,"I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the B@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"

ahem.. if somebody you dont like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

answer the phone with this

Hello thank you for choosing mamas pizzeria/ abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce how may i help you?

or

hello this is davids orphanage you make them we take them how may i help you?

some people reactions are priceless and then the wonder about you mental health

People say I LIKE UR CUT G. Which is when u get a fresh cut but I guess when u go bald we can say like ur forehead g

I know it’s really really really really really bad

5

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.

Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?

Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.

3

People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes they literally look this shit up just to complain

🎆 New Year's Eve

Lil Johnny👦: „Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight“

Mom👱🏻‍♀️: „Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?“

Dad👨🏻‍🦰: „Son, if you don't leave, it‘ll bang on your head!“

what worng with airline food...! theier not blakc and there not poeple. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! your'e welcom?