People jokes
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
Memes
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
What music do depressed people listen to?
"I Believe I Can Fly."
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"
I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
People: You're ugly.
Me: Ok.
People: I hate you.
Me: Cool, IDC.
People: You're annoying.
Me: Good for me.
People: BTS is dumb.
Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
"Knife to meet you all!"
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.