People

People jokes

Antarctica

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

Bin Laden

Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.

He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.

Memes

Abuse

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

Russian Roulette

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

Workout

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

Rapist

What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?

At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.

Wheelchair

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

News

Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!

Drum

Why are drums and autistic people the same?

They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"

Parachute

The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,

"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,

"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."

Tree

People are like trees...

They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Pool

What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?

Vegetable soup.

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