People jokes
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"
I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.
What music do depressed people listen to?
"I Believe I Can Fly."
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.