People jokes

There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.

My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.

Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?

They all shoot people for a living.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.

I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.

What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?

Eight dead people.

Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?

An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.

Why are Black people getting stronger?

Because the TVs are getting bigger.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.

Why is Hitler better than Biden?

Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.

Why do people hate abortion jokes?

It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.

Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...

...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.

Why don’t old people have sex?

When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.