People jokes

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.

My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.

I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.

It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.

Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."

"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."

Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.

Why do people hate abortion jokes?

It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.

They say they'll stay, but I left first.

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣

What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.

What is the only place fat people live?

Obi-city.

Why did the orphan try to get hurt?

Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.

He looks around, no one is there.

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.