Poland jokes

What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?

tweezers.

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.

The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.

"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.

Hitler only wanted peace.

A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.

When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"

You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.

The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.

Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?

Because he hated the Poles!

Poles are as straight as adopted kids' parents.

There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.

In England, for every church, there are two pubs.

In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.

Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?

There's nothing worth shitting on.

🤔 What do Polish people 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 in Poland do with 📰 📰 📰 📰 newspapers 📰 📰 📰 📰 after they are done reading them?

Use them for toilet paper. 🧻 🧻 🧻 🧻 😆 😄

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?

Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?

He hated the Poles.

Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.

Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.

Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.

American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."