People jokes
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?
I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
I am glass! People see right through me.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.