People jokes

Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?

A. Neither does R. Kelly.

People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.

In a white van.

You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?

All of them are married!

I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.

Why do white people carry Confederate flags?

To remind us that they are losers.

Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.

In a thick Russian accent:

"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."

This stuff is messed up, you people.

I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.

The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.

What do Nike and the KKK have in common?

They both make Black people run faster.

Why are you sad?

I’m depressed. I know black people could cry.

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

Hi guys, it's Gwen. Good morning, people! Just to let you know, I am deleting my account tomorrow.

People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.

Why do people want to jump off buildings?

Because they want to become Superman.

"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."

There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.

People are really upset with the Trump-Biden debate.

So much so, that Chris Wallace has requested to change his name.