People jokes

Why do people play soccer?

Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.

People are so f***ed up. I belated "Frickin' BTW!"

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

Hispanic and Latino people be like, "No more immigrants!" Like, dude, aren't you an immigrant?

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?

White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!

Why do emo people go to the store with no money?

Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.

What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?

The color black.

People are arguing about stopping orphan jokes.

Me: m e h. i d o n t c a r e.

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

What kind of fish do people eat?

Deep-fried fish.

Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.

White people be like, "Less bomb Ukraines hospitals and schools!"

Hahaha, dumb white people!

Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."