Past

Past jokes

Orphanage

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?

Blind man

So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"

Orphan

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

Orphan

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

Memes

Time

I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

Woman

History

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

Bedtime

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

Hairline

TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.

Orphan

I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"

Yard

Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?

A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.

Pedophile

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

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  • Teacher

    Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.

    Mama

    Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.

    Infidelity

    Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

    Similarity

    What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?

    They both went down on my dad.

    Politics

    What do British politics and transgender people have in common?

    Both aren't what they used to be...