Party

Party Jokes

Sausage

I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.

Condom

My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.

Anxiety

If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

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  • Friend

    I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.

    Death

    When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

    And into a children's birthday party.

    Magician

    Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

    Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

    "Really?" asked a little girl.

    "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

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  • Cannibal

    What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?

    A cold shoulder.

    Brick

    Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

    Teacher: 502.

    Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

    Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!

    Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

    Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

    Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door

    Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

    Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?

    Teacher: let me guess the lion?

    Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.

    Teacher: WOW!

    Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

    Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

    Student: The gators are at the party.

    Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

    Teacher: She drowned?!

    Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

    Entry

    Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.

    Epilepsy

    My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

    Adoption papers

    So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

    He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

    Pie

    I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.

    I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."

    Skeleton

    Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

    Papyrus: Because they looked like me?

    Sans: ... Sure.

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