Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.
What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?
One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.
A young girl was playing in the park with her mother when she asked the question, "Mummy, what's that building over there?" The mother looked at the prison, smiled, and said, "That's where the cotton pickers live."
That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
Your mama's so fat, when she went to the baseball tournament, she knocked everyone out of the park.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
Yo mama so fat, she was mistaken for Eric Cartman from South Park.
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
