Parent jokes

Why do orphans not know Dom Toretto?

Dom Toretto cares about family.

Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.

Why don't orphans go to the park?

Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!

Why did Orphan become famous?

Because he didn't need parent permission.

What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?

One of the two actually came back.😂

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why can't an orphan go on away games?

Their parent will never show up!

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait........

You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?

Wait..........

What did the parents say to the orphans?

"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?

Teacher: Anyone missing?

Orphan: My parents.

Teacher: Something that is real, kid.

Orphan: My family.

Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!

Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.

Kid: So what? At least they love me more.

When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.

Hey guys, I have a question.

Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?

What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?

"Two wongs don’t make a white."

What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?

Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)

One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.

He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.

So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"

Ok, here's a story about the church.

There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.

An orphan walks into a bar and the barman says, "What are you doing here? You need parent's permission!"

"Oh no, who will I ask?" the orphan says.

My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!