Parent jokes

I saw an orphan and asked them if they had parent permission.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait........

You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?

Wait..........

What did the parents say to the orphans?

"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

Why did Orphan become famous?

Because he didn't need parent permission.

What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?

One of the two actually came back.😂

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

Why don't orphans go to the park?

Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why can't an orphan go on away games?

Their parent will never show up!

Hey guys, I have a question.

Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?

When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.

What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?

The boomerang came back.

What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?

Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)

One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.

He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.

So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

Ok, here's a story about the church.

There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.

An orphan walks into a bar and the barman says, "What are you doing here? You need parent's permission!"

"Oh no, who will I ask?" the orphan says.

My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!

Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings.

Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdf

Dear Grad Parents, Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear. There will be more information to follow in the coming days. Thank you.

(Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)

Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!