Parent jokes

A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

Why do orphans not play sport?

Because they need parents' permission.

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?

Other man: Because.

Man: Because why!?

Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Why can’t you yell at a kid?

Because the cops are after you.

Best part about being an orphan?

Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.

Why did the orphan cross the ride?

I forgot.

Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.

What do you call an octopus dad?

An octodad.

I'm serious, what's a "dad?"

There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.

The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"

I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.

My son.

Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"

Orphan; "Stop calling here!"

What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?

They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

Why can't an orphan go on away games?

Their parent will never show up!

When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.