Parent jokes
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
An orphan finds a genie.
Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."
Genie: "Of course."
Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."
Genie: "Done."
Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"
Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"
I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.