Paper jokes
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.
🤔 What do Polish people 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 in Poland do with 📰 📰 📰 📰 newspapers 📰 📰 📰 📰 after they are done reading them?
Use them for toilet paper. 🧻 🧻 🧻 🧻 😆 😄
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?
'Cause it got stuck in a pothole!
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Yo mama is so skinny, she uses floss as toilet paper.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?
Orphan: Parent signature: ___________
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
What's so funny about toilet paper? The toilet aspect!
Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.