Paper jokes
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”
My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.