Overeating jokes

What is black and white and red all over?

An interracial abortion.

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?

Three gay guys walk into a bar.

There is only one stool left, what do they do?

They flip the stool over.

Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.

A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.

“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

Pin drop silence in the class!

"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”

Two Native Americans

Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"

The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.

His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"

Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.

Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.

Couldn’t Be Me.

Why do orphans hate apples?

Because they get picked over.

Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!

A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"

The man said, "Okay."

What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?

"I think you're overreacting."