Overeating jokes

I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

What time is it when you say "what?"

Time to start over!

What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?

"I think you're overreacting."

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.

White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

Natives: Can y-

White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

What is black and white and red all over?

Answer: A newspaper.

That is what my 3-year-old told me.

Why did the priest buy a clown suit?

Because the old one had blood all over it.

I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

Type this in your calculator:

5 days a week (type in 5),

6 different classes (type in 6),

7 hours a day (type in 7),

x

2 semesters (type in 2),

=

flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).