Overeating jokes

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

What time is it when you say "what?"

Time to start over!

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

What appears over Ash’s head when he gets an idea?

A LightBulbasaur.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

What's black, white, and red all over?

A nun in a blender.

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)

What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.

I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.

People are still scratching their heads over it.

White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

Natives: Can y-

White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.

A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"

Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.