Overeating jokes

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?

"I think you're overreacting."

I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.

I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.

People are still scratching their heads over it.

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"

The man said, "Okay."

What time is it when you say "what?"

Time to start over!

What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!

So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.

So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."

White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

Natives: Can y-

White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.

Why did the priest buy a clown suit?

Because the old one had blood all over it.

I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.