Outing jokes

Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?

'Cause he was a cheetah.

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?

Because his keys were inside of the ignition.

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

- JFK

Why can't orphans go on field trips? Parents' signature: _______

What's a reversed exorcism?

It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,

So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"

Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!