Outing jokes

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

Why can't orphans go on field trips? Parents' signature: _______

I asked a emo kid if they wanna hang out.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?

Because his keys were inside of the ignition.

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

- JFK

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?

(Getting brutally murdered.)

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?

'Cause he was a cheetah.

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

What's a reversed exorcism?

It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.