ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire
Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now
Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me
I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient
If you'r american when you go in the bathroom and you american when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it...we're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Why can't Orphans go on field trips? Parents signature _______
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony? He wanted to clean out the blanket
are you a bullet because i cant get you out me head-JFK
How did Rihanna find out? Chris Brown was cheating on her Found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship? Neither one of them, they eat out
A Biologist, a Chemist and a Statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right. The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
my girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. fair enough. i gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Why are astronauts forgetful? They're always spacing out.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread, that’s about to become a rope around my neck
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, hurry up, some of us got homes to go to...
My wife told me I could never ever build a car out of spaghetti , you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
You're so fat when people see you running they can't help but yell out "keep running"
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere
