Outing jokes

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?

If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

A slipper.

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

What do you tell a stressed-out Pokémon?

“Kakuna Rattata!”

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,

"Some asshole has my pen!"

I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.

All people are invited!

We have a lot! Enjoy!

What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

Bobby had 54 dicks (54).

He took 33 pills a month (5433).

Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).

(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.