Outing jokes

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.

Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?

The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.

All people are invited!

We have a lot! Enjoy!

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

A slipper.

China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,

"Some asshole has my pen!"

What do you tell a stressed-out Pokémon?

“Kakuna Rattata!”

Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”