Outing jokes
Rate these races out of 10/10:
White 10/10
Hispanic 8/10
Black 0/10
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."