Outing jokes

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.

Why did the gym close?

It's because it just never worked out.

I shidded out my baby, then became a fish.

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

These jokes are the bomb, I rate them 9 out of 11.

Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.

And she leaves you on felt.

You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.

If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.

What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?

Boston cream pie.