Outing jokes

What do you call two emos spending time together?

Hanging out.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

I was going to join the debating team.

... but someone talked me out of it.

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!

Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?

Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!

Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!

Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???

Me: Yea

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

Why are grapes never alone?

Because they hang out in a bunch!

I took my mother-in-law out today...

I love being a sniper.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, I'm just a burden.

Prince, please talk to me for real...

Let's sort this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, please answer me. I need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Princess, my name is Gwen, and I am not a faker!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?

Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

How can you find out how old a cabbage is?

By looking at its cabbAGE.