Outing jokes

"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"

I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.

Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!

What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?

Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

Bully: How is your girlfriend?

Me: I don't have one!

Bully: I know!

Me: How are your parents?

*Walks out of orphanage*

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

What do you call two emos spending time together?

Hanging out.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

Why are grapes never alone?

Because they hang out in a bunch!