I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
Outing Jokes
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
Why are grapes never alone?
Because they hang out in a bunch!
Prince, please talk to me for real...
Let's sort this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please, please answer me. I need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Princess, my name is Gwen, and I am not a faker!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?
Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Rate these races out of 10/10:
White 10/10
Hispanic 8/10
Black 0/10
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
