Outing jokes
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
These jokes are the bomb, I rate them 9 out of 11.
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!
Memes
LOL only HK fans get it
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"
I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."