Outing jokes
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Neona (😞): Are you mad at me?
Gwen (😌): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!
Neona (😁): Agreed!
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
Wanna come hang out with me?
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Why do orphans want parents? Because they don't want to be left out.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.