Outing jokes

I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"

What do emos do when they meet up?

They hang out.

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...

All of the bristles fell out!

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay.

Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?

Because they don't have them on the inside.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?

He woke up and found out it was true.

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

What do guns and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.