Outing jokes
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
Why did the gym close down?
Because it just didn't work out.
Chat box hangout.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the Covid-19 patients to stay positive.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
I went out to buy some camouflage shirts the other day. Couldn't find any.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"