I went out to buy some camouflage shirts the other day. Couldn't find any.
Outing Jokes
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
