Otherness jokes
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.
Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."
Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic and the other is a priest.