I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
The boys joking be like:
One guy: "Balls!"
All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.
What does one emo kid say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
What did the traffic light say to the other?
🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.
