Otherness jokes
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
Why did the emo person cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
For some unexplainable reason I instantly though “hmm this sounds like something for dagger”
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: I'll fall with you.
What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?
Answer: Loneliness.
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"