Otherness jokes
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.
(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
Memes
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"