Otherness jokes

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?

"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.

Dark humor is like water.

Some people get it, others don't.

What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.

What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.

(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)

What did one orphan say to the other?

"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked, and the other doesn't.

I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...

... And pulled a mussel.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.