Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
A twin engine has two engines.
If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide!!! 😂
I want to die to see the other side, but if I die I won't know anybody on the other side.
Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?
They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.
What did the Emo kid say to the other Emo kid?
Wait! Don’t leave me hangin’!
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
What do 2 emo kids say to each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
*Slaps wrist*
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Why did the child cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Some people decide to start a blog.
Others decide to start a blog.
You know what my sink started?
A clog.
So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.
Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.
Anyways, she cried lol.
Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."
Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."
Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."
Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"
Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"
Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."
Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."
Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."
Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"
Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."
Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.
