Otherness jokes
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
What did the O say to the other O?
O hi O (Ohio).
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."