Otherness jokes
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What's the difference between me and a knife?
One has a point, and the other doesn't.
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
Yo Mamma's so ugly, she made One Direction turn into the other direction!
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
Masochists and sadists are made for each other.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.