What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones so I throwaway the bent ones
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
what's the difference between ironman and ironwoman? one is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one make your whole week.
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"
What did one deperesed kid say to the other? Hey wanna hang together.
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
When some one says your adopted say β But your still at the orphanage.β
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one"
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts youβre left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "now were not even allowed to do that."
no one cares if you bully an orphan, what they gon' do? tell their parents?!
Why did Mary have a little lamb π? Because a big one was too much in bed.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A Minor, and the other one plays guitar.
Q: What Kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip
I made that one up.
roses are red, unlike the rest, i'm the one who has your IP address.
what's the difference between an orphan and cotton? one gets picked
