One jokes

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"

Me: "To reduce the population by one."

Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.

I made that one up.

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

"Have you taken a bath?"

"No. Why, did one go missing?"

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

What’s the difference between white people and Black people?

One runs from the police, one runs for the police.

How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

What did one depressed kid say to the other?

Hey, wanna hang together?

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

My wife told me to stop being an idiot.

I told her, "Which one do you want?"

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?

The grim reaper.